


Forever and a bit

by lemonskies



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Sharing a Bed, a whole bunch of gay yearning, everyone's touch-starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21763645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonskies/pseuds/lemonskies
Summary: “Jay?” Tim mumbled, voice slightly raspy and confused, and it made Jay’s heart stop for a moment. “’s something wrong?”Everything, Jay wanted to say,Everything is wrong and you’re the only comfort I’ve had in years and I can’t stop thinking about you. Instead, he just shook his head.
Relationships: Jay Merrick/Timothy "Tim" Wright, Jay/Timothy "Tim" W.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 124





	Forever and a bit

**Author's Note:**

> yes i did listen to that mother mother song on repeat while writing this

Jay was no stranger to paranoia and fear, to that deeply unsettling feeling that carved its way through his gut. The past couple years had been nothing but looking over his shoulder every other minute, always feeling like someone or something was watching him. It was bad when he was right in the middle of the action, running through the forest like a madman with his only option praying that he would get out alive, but somehow it only got worse when nothing happened. During those times his anxiety would eat him alive, always wondering _when _the next horrifying thing was going to happen. When the next masked figure would show up in front of his window. When someone would point a gun at him.

_If there is a god_, he thought, _he certainly isn’t here_.

And then Tim happened and suddenly he wasn’t alone anymore. Suddenly he had someone watching his back, someone who knew exactly what he was going through - a rare commodity those days – and it wasn’t nearly as bad to stay in dingy hotel rooms when he shared it with someone else.

Tim was solid in a way, his presence keeping Jay grounded, and Jay didn’t know exactly when he figured out that he couldn’t do without him anymore, but the moment it really hit home for him had been a scary one. From the start he’d been going at it alone, and he’d figured that that was how it would end, but now there was a chance he didn’t _have _to do all of it by himself and he couldn’t help but latch onto that opportunity with both hands.

Maybe he should’ve been concerned about how easily he trusted, how quickly he and Tim had grown comfortable around each other, but Jay hadn’t known how badly he craved company until Tim had joined him.

It wasn’t until a while later that he realized how much he craved physical contact, too.

It started slowly. Accidental brushes of their hands that caused Jay’s skin to tingle in a way that was not entirely unpleasant. Jay couldn’t remember the last time someone touched him without the intent to harm him, and when Tim put a hand on his shoulder and asked him if he was okay all he could do was nod dumbly, a warm feeling filling his gut. Jay found himself wanting to be closer to Tim all the time, something that was near impossible, considering they were already practically living in each other’s laps.

Going back to the set of Marble Hornets had been Jay’s idea, albeit more as a last resort than anything sensible. They hadn’t made any progress in their investigation in ages and for all he knew Alex could be right on their heels. It felt like they were always one step behind, just playing catch-up with everyone else, and maybe he could find some information that would level the playing field.

As they trudged through the woods Jay wondered if he would ever feel comfortable in forests again. Every snapping of a branch or rustling of leaves had him right on edge, shoulders tense with anxiety. Every shadow could be a person, or worse, and as much as he wanted to solve whatever was happening, he also couldn’t wait for it to be over. He’d done a lot of foolishly brave things over the years, but after all this time it hadn’t gotten easier at all. It had only gotten harder.

He stayed as close to Tim as possible, his presence feeling almost like a shield from all the bad things that could happen. Like when he was a kid and he would hide under the covers of his bed at night, because the monsters couldn’t hurt him there. Realistically he knew it was bullshit, and lots of bad things happened while Tim was around, but it somehow made him feel safer anyway. A branch snapped loudly beneath his foot, anxiety coursing through his veins, and, in a move that even he hadn’t expected, he reached out for Tim’s hand.

As soon as he did it he regretted it. It felt childish and silly, wanting to hold your – very much platonic – friend’s hand, and Jay was already bracing himself for Tim to pull his hand away in clear rejection.

But then he didn’t. Tim didn’t even tense up in surprise. He just laced their fingers together like it was the most normal thing in the world and lightly squeezed Jay’s hand. The gesture made butterflies explode in Jay’s stomach, and for a moment he completely forget to pay attention to their surroundings. Tim’s hand was warm and firm against his own, and Jay felt his face heat up. The hand holding the camera struggled to stay still, no doubt causing a huge chunk of footage to be completely useless, but somehow he didn’t care.

Tim didn’t let go of his hand until they were safely back in the parking lot.

* * *

Jay couldn’t sleep. Not that it was anything out of the ordinary; He’d been subsisting on a max of 4 hours of sleep a night for far longer than he would like to admit, but as he turned to look to his right something inside of him ached. Tim was fast asleep, sprawled out on his back and looking almost… calm. He knew that the moment he’d woke up the ever-present tension would return to his body, anxiety and worry crashing into him like a tidal wave, and as Jay watched him sleep he wondered if they would ever find peace.

He sat up slightly, back pressed uncomfortably against the headboard, and he briefly debated going over the tapes once more. His brain was fried from lack of sleep, though, and he doubted he would be able to get anything done without waking Tim, so instead he just sat there, the cold of the room steadily seeping into his bones.

Maybe it was his fried brain and lack of sleep that caused him to look at Tim again and wonder what it would be like to share his body heat, to feel his heartbeat and know that Tim was alive and Jay was not alone. A part of him felt guilty just for thinking about it, but then he thought back to how easily Tim had allowed Jay to hold his hand back in the woods, and maybe, just maybe, Tim needed physical contact just as badly as Jay did.

It would be stupid to deny that there was something going on between the two of them, some kind of tension or chemistry that Jay couldn’t quite describe, but there was always this nagging feeling in the back of his head that it was just because Tim was the only real friend he had. That he was just confused and lonely and desperate for affection and he was imagining things.

He shifted, head spinning with unwelcome thoughts, and the cheap mattress creaked beneath him, loud enough to make him tense up in fear. Tim stirred, letting out a soft sigh in his sleep, before settling down again. His chest rose and fell steadily, visible even in the dimness of the room, and Jay ached.

Thinking things through hadn’t exactly been Jay’s greatest strength lately, and the lack of sleep combined with the uneasiness he felt made him do something stupid. He pushed the bedsheets off his body and slowly got out of bed, tip-toeing the short distance between his bed and Tim’s, before sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Tim stirred again, before groggily opening one eye and looking right at Jay.

“Jay?” he mumbled, voice slightly raspy and confused and it made Jay’s heart stop for a moment. “’s something wrong?” _Everything_, Jay wanted to say, _Everything is wrong and you’re the only comfort I’ve had in years and I can’t stop thinking about you. _Instead, he just shook his head.

“No, I just-“ He sighed. “Nevermind, it’s stupid. Go back to sleep, Tim.” Jay was already in the process of getting up when Tim put his hand over his, lacing their fingers together and forcing Jay to freeze.

“I understand,” Tim said after a few beats of silence, and with his free hand he lifted the bedsheets. It was as clear an invitation as they came, but still Jay hesitated for a moment. “It’s okay,” Tim reassured, and Jay was only human.

Carefully he climbed into bed with Tim, sliding under the scratchy bedsheets that were still warm from Tim’s body heat, and despite the overall low quality of the hotel Jay had never been quite as comfortable as at that moment. Tim’s skin against his seemed to soothe all of his aches, the itching beneath his skin that he hadn’t been able to get rid of in what felt like ages. He rested his forehead against Tim’s chest, their legs tanging together beneath the sheets, and it shouldn’t have been this simple, but for once in his life it was.

Tim smelled like hotel shampoo and the scent of cigarettes which never quite seemed to leave him, and Jay felt some of the tension leave his body. One of Tim’s arms wrapped around him almost protectively, prompting Jay to move even closer to Tim. It felt right. Their bodies fit together perfectly, and the warmth that surrounded him made his eyelids start to droop.

“Thank you,” he murmured, draping his arm over Tim’s side, and Tim just hummed quietly in response.

It was good. It was safe. And once again all Jay could do was pray; Pray that the universe would let him have this and keep this. Longer than today. Longer than tomorrow.

That night he slept better than he had in years.


End file.
